Being a Mom with ADHD: A Day In The Life

Being a mom with ADHD is like constantly juggling a million things at once, trying to balance household duties, kids, and personal time—all while feeling like you’re falling behind.

For me, the hardest part of being a stay-at-home mom with ADHD is keeping a schedule and managing my household. I’m the kind of mom who strives to let my kids explore and learn independently, but the chaos that comes with that free-range approach can sometimes feel overwhelming, especially when my ADHD symptoms kick in.

Throw in some depression and the pressure of constantly trying to “do it all” and it can feel like I’m constantly behind the eight ball. But over time, I’ve learned some tricks to make it work, even if it doesn’t always go as planned.

In this post, I’m going to share with you what a typical day looks like for me, the struggles I face, and how I’ve learned to manage the chaos that comes with being a mom with ADHD. I hope this helps you feel a little less alone in your own journey as a free-range mom with ADHD.

Morning Struggles: Waking Up Being a Mom with ADHD and Depression

Mornings are always a struggle for me. Waking up early is one of my hardest challenges because my ADHD makes it difficult to stay on a set schedule.

I’m often stuck in a cycle of oversleeping and then feeling rushed when I wake up late. On top of that, there’s the fog of depression, which can make getting out of bed feel like the biggest task of the day.

I know it sounds simple, but just getting up can take everything I have some mornings. When my depression is at its worst, the idea of starting my day feels like an insurmountable task. My ADHD makes me scatterbrained and forgetful, so even if I do get up, I often find myself lost in thought, jumping from task to task without ever really finishing anything.

How I Manage It: I’ve learned to embrace a little flexibility. Instead of a strict morning routine, I’ve created a “loose schedule” that gives me the freedom to start my day at my own pace, while still accomplishing key things. I give myself grace and allow myself to start slowly, even if that means starting my day later than I’d like.

I also try to wake up at least 10 minutes earlier than everyone else to give myself some quiet time to breathe and set intentions for the day. It’s not always perfect, but it helps me feel a bit more in control before the chaos begins.

The Kids Are Up: Keeping My Kids Independent but Safe

Once the kids are awake, the real chaos begins. As a free-range mom, I love giving my kids the space to explore, play, and learn independently. However, ADHD makes it challenging to keep track of everything, and there are times when I worry they’re getting into things they shouldn’t.

I try to let go of the guilt and let my kids have the freedom to play outside, create their own games, and engage in imaginative play. I’ve learned that letting go of perfection and trusting my kids helps me manage my own anxiety around parenting. But keeping the house in order while they run wild can be a huge challenge.

How I Manage It: I try to balance freedom with structure. While I encourage my kids to explore, I set up specific areas where they can play freely without me worrying about messes or safety. We have a designated play area in the living room where they can be as messy as they want with crafts and toys. This gives them the freedom they crave, while also keeping them safe.

I’ve also set up daily “clean-up times” where everyone helps tidy up the house for 10-15 minutes. This works better than I thought it would because it helps keep everyone accountable. Still, some days are more chaotic than others, and I’ve learned to let go of the need for perfection.

Household Duties: How I Struggle with Keeping a Clean Home

Managing household duties is one of my biggest struggles. I often get distracted mid-task or feel overwhelmed by the sheer volume of things that need to be done. Cleaning the kitchen, doing laundry, and managing daily chores sometimes feel like a never-ending battle, especially when my ADHD makes it hard to focus on one thing for more than 10 minutes at a time.

On some days, I’ll get halfway through a task, like folding laundry, and then start something else—only to forget about the laundry still sitting on the couch. The struggle is real, and it can leave me feeling defeated by the end of the day. This is where my ADHD often collides with my depression, making it hard to get motivated or stay organized.

How I Manage It: One of the most important things I’ve learned is to break down my chores into smaller, more manageable tasks. Instead of thinking, “I need to clean the whole house,” I focus on one area at a time, like “Today, I’ll focus on cleaning the kitchen.” I also rely on timers to help me stay on track. When I set a timer for 10-15 minutes, it feels less overwhelming, and it helps me stay focused.

I also take advantage of my kids’ energy by getting them involved in cleaning. While I don’t want them to feel overwhelmed, I encourage them to do small tasks like putting away their toys or setting the table. This not only lightens the load for me but also teaches them responsibility.

The Struggle with Creating and Sticking to a Schedule while Being A Mom With ADHD

Another major challenge I face as a mom with ADHD is sticking to a schedule. I’ve tried countless planners, schedules, and routines, but they often end up being abandoned after a few days. My ADHD makes it hard to stick to a rigid routine, and I find that when something doesn’t go as planned, the entire day can fall apart.

How I Manage It: Instead of rigid schedules, I’ve started creating flexible time blocks that give me some freedom. For example, “9 AM – 12 PM: Household tasks, including laundry and cleaning,” and “1 PM – 3 PM: Kid’s playtime and one-on-one activities.” I also use apps like Google Calendar to set reminders for important tasks, but I’ve learned that flexibility is key.

I’ve also learned to accept that some days will be messier or less productive than others—and that’s okay. I try to focus on my wins, like finishing one big task, and give myself credit for it.

The Evening Wind Down: Coping with Fatigue and Staying Calm

By the time evening rolls around, I’m often exhausted. My ADHD makes it hard to wind down, and depression sometimes keeps me feeling drained and unmotivated. I try to take small breaks during the day to recharge, but it’s hard to switch off when I feel like there’s always more to do.

How I Manage It: I’ve started creating a calming bedtime routine for myself, which helps signal to my brain that it’s time to wind down. This may include reading, listening to calming music, or doing a short meditation. I also try to avoid my phone or computer at least an hour before bed to help improve my sleep quality.

Even though it’s a struggle, I’ve learned that taking time for self-care is just as important as managing household tasks. If I don’t make self-care a priority, I’m less able to show up for my family the next day.

Being A Mom With ADHD: Conclusion

Living as a free-range mom with ADHD isn’t easy, but it’s doable with the right mindset and strategies. I still struggle with depression, household duties, and keeping a schedule, but I’ve learned to embrace the chaos and give myself grace. My life is imperfect, and that’s okay. I’ve found that focusing on small wins, creating flexible routines, and allowing my kids the freedom to explore and learn on their own helps me manage the daily whirlwind that comes with motherhood and ADHD.

Remember, if you’re a mom with ADHD, you’re not alone. We all have our unique struggles, but together, we can make it work, one chaotic day at a time.